Ever wanted to kill someone?

I don’t mean, just shoot ’em. I mean death by a thousand cuts, hanging them by their thumbs; calling Guido, the guy with no neck and lots of muscles, and letting him pound away on them. You get the picture, right? There are times . . .

I’m generally a pretty nice guy, laid back, slow to anger — you know the type. I’ll go the extra mile, turn the other cheek, put up with a lot. However, every once in a while it becomes exceedingly difficult to do so. Let me illustrate . . .

Her: I’ve got a complaint.

Me: Ok, how may I help you?

Her: I’ve got this product and it doesn’t work. I not only want my money back but I want compensation for my troubles.

Me: What is the product?

Her: It is Product XYZ and I bought in 3 years ago.

Me: I’m sorry, but we’ve never even carried that product.

Her: So?

Me, perplexed: If I didn’t carry it, why are you asking me to refund it?

Her: Because you’re convenient.

Me: Huh?

Her: I bought it in New York when I lived there and now I live here. So, I need you to refund my money!

Me: I can’t do that! That makes no sense!

Her: If I bought something at WalMart in New York, I could return it here. So you need to give me my money back.

Me: Huh?

Her: Listen, if you don’t give me my refund I’ll never come back!

Me: Promise?

The names have not been used to protect the stupid. And, no, I didn’t kill her. I find that rather amazing!