Crazy thoughts . . .

I hate it when I have them! I especially hate it when they rudely burst to the forefront of all my other thoughts. Like when I’m pleasantly sleeping with visions of sugar plums and candy canes merrily dancing in my head. Or when I’m trying to concentrate on work, or reading, or talking, or eating. They just come. I’ve not invited them.

An example. We’re making a trip to Brasil in a few weeks. One of our prime reasons for the trip is to work with the children there and to begin involving the new Christians in becoming a real church. So, we’ve been making plans, working out logistics, preparing, etc. Nice, neat, orderly. Then, pow! In the middle of the night the faces of these kids wake me. They just look at me. They don’t ask for anything. They just look. When I try to go back to sleep, I just see more faces.

Dang it!

Some folks worry about work, about finances, about family, etc. (they are on my list, too!). I sure would like to be normal and just be fixated on those things. That would actually be pleasant. I know you can’t “fix” those things — that’s why it’s called “worrying” — but at least they are at your finger tips and you have the leisure of thinking, and worrying, about them when you have the time. But these kids! Rude, obnoxious, inconvenient. They’re always present and they’re not welcome.

How do you purge your head of such crazy thoughts? Just telling yourself to stop is as effective as telling the rain to stop falling. It doesn’t work very well. I try telling others, absurdly thinking that getting it out will remove the urgency, kinda like forcing yourself to vomit when you’re nauseous so you’ll feel better afterwards. But nope, that doesn’t work either. In fact, I think it backfires and makes me think about it even more!

Pastor Jeff always emphasizes doing the best that it’s possible to do — that is why the Jesus-Sender put us here. Maybe that’s what’s wrong with me . . . there is no way in the world that I can “fix” the poverty that these kids live in but everything in me screams that I have to try. I see people around me living in luxury — and not having a clue that they are — and who could care less about the plight of these children, or anyone anywhere else in the world for that matter. Out of sight, out of mind. Just look at the initial response to the tsunami diaster in the far east a year ago. Once the hoopla died down no one has had a second thought about it. Their situation today is still as desperate now as it was then, but there is no help coming.

Like I said, I hate these stupid thought! They drive me crazy . . .