Do you know what this is?

Let me give you a clue: it is NOT children happily eating at a school cafeteria table.

Give up?

It is children sitting on the lap of a BEAST!

Why would I make such an outlandish statement? Because I wrestled this beast and 19 of his kin this morning. In fact, I go through this crazy activity EVERY single Sunday morning from 7:00 til 9:00 and have done so for 10 straight months! I do believe that qualifies me to recognize the creature, and his brethren, intimately.

You see, Lifepoint Church meets in a middle school. The children’s classes are held in the school cafeteria. As a member of the setup team, I help turn the cafeteria into Kid’s Zone — a place where kids have a blast and learn about the Jesus Lord at the same time. These beasts lie in wait for me to come in on Sunday morning to move them, rearrange them, and utilize them for the classes.

These beasts have a mind of their own. You push one way, they go in another. Or they don’t budge at all. They sit there, so enticingly simple appearing. Their wheels lock, and like a donkey that refuses to move, these so-called “tables” buck and skid, digging their wheels into the nicely polished linoleum floors — the very ones we’re told to be careful of. Or, while in their upright, “resting” position, as you begin to push they decide to open. And, like a pterodactyl opening its massive wings to take flight, these ‘birds of prey” begin to gracefully flap their “wings” and then drop with a “thud.” Again, right onto that freshly polished floor.

What’s even creepier, they watch you. As soon as you turn your back on them they s l o w l y begin to inch downwards. You hear them creaking, racketing and pivot quickly to catch them. But, antecipating your move, they instantly stop, mocking you.

By the time I’ve wrestled these monsters for two hours, I’m tired, often sweaty. But the neatest thing is that once in place, even these beasts become instruments in the hands of the Living God to change and bless the lives of the little “yard apes” and “rug rats” that come through the doors of a middle school that has been transformed into a gateway to heavenly realms that we lovingly call Lifepoint.

And that, dear reader, makes it all so worthwhile . . .