I’ve got a lot on my mind these days.

Trying to open a smoothie bar (please, don’t try this at home — it is only for the professionals and I wish I’d known that before starting), is high on the list. And to think, it was such a simple concept in the beginning.

Knock out a wall, get an ice machine and a blender and sell smoothies. Increase income. Live happily ever after.

Twelve months later (and still no smoothie bar) I’m beginning to suspect that something went wrong. A couple of insights:

• First, there are no smoothies walking out our front door, money safely nestled in the cash register drawer.
• Second, the aforementioned money has been running out the front door as though someone had yelled “fire!” in a movie theater (let’s see, twelve months rent in a commerical space, construction, equipment, training, employees, advertising –not a pretty sight).
• Third, my faith — or lack thereof — in government has reached all time lows: I’m firmly convinced that city/county construction inspectors are the advanced scouts for an evil alien culture that is on its way to destroy the earth at this very moment.
• Fourth, I’ve come to appreciate how much one can actually begin to hate hearing the same expression repetitiously used: “So, when are you going to open the smoothie bar?” (My wife had to cross body block me on Tuesday when one lady wanted to know why I was dragging my feet in getting the place opened).
• Finally, though not lastly — there’s still a whole lot more — there’s the renewal of the business license. You see, assuming that the “small” project we were doing would only take “at best, 6 weeks” (famous words of the contractor in October of last year), we registered the business and paid for our operation license from the city. It’s now time to renew it, and I’ve not sold a single smoothie! And they had the gall to want proof that our revenues had not increased!

Maybe I could turn it into a disco!