No, I’ve never seen the show.

Yesterday we decided to “run in” to Walmart to pick up something. Typically, we use our cell phones to keep track of each other while there so we can know where to meet up. One of us left their cell phone in the car. So, we resorted to the old school, “meet me at xxxx in 20 minutes.”

20 minutes later I’m looking for my wife where she said she would be.

She wasn’t there.

What is the one thing you are told NOT to do when you are lost in the wilderness? Stay put.

I didn’t. I went looking for my spouse. Funny, I KNEW I was going to get in trouble if I did so; but I did it anyway — that manly need to hunt, I suppose.

A half hour later my feet hurt (I did the “circuit” 5 times!), I’m frustrated, I want to go home AND I know I’m in trouble because I didn’t do what I was supposed to do.

It is amazing how many women will look like your spouse from behind 10 yards away.

In desperation I camped out at the checkout lanes and scanned back and forth for the next 5 minutes. Finally I caught glimpse of what I thought was the real McCoy and swooped down on it, her. Ol’ eagle eyes was correct! I’d caught my prey, only to have the prey turn on the eagle.

Fellows, I know all of you are very familiar with “the look.” I’d rather be hit with a 2×4 than to have to endure “the look.” (I’m convinced that the wife’s “look” is the origin of “the evil eye”)

The one redeeming result of the adventure was a french vanilla cheesecake (fabulous!) and a caramel covered apple (not so good).

The moral of the story? Don’t go to Walmart with your spouse unless you are BOTH carrying a cell phone!