I’m generally a pretty considerate fellow. Especially when it comes to my queen. I’ll do just about anything to make her happy.

For example, I’m not a real snorer; I don’t cut wood with a chain saw or sound like rumbling thunder. However, at times, I do. Such as when there is a lot of pollen in the air or I’m getting over a cold. Then I cause the rafters on the house to tremble!

Recently, being in that state twice over — both the pollen and getting over a cold — I went through a week where I was snoring horrendously. For four nights in a row I drove my little queen out of the bedroom to the couch in the den.

I was feeling quite bad for doing that. So, knowing that I was snoring (yes, you can hear yourself snoring!), I got out of bed, went to the guest bedroom. I figured that she’d be able to get a more comfortable sleep in her own bed without me sounding like a freight train coming through.

Good thought, poor implementation. The bed in the guest room isn’t as comfortable as mine. I slept “funny,” in an odd position — I snored worse and louder than normal. The guest bedroom parallels our bedroom and actually resonates sound into ours. I wasn’t thinking of that when I moved into it. My snoring sounded as though I was using a microphone and amplifier. Or, as I was told, I sounded like “an elephant dying a horrible death!”

The next thing I know, I’m being told in a not very nice way to “Stop it!” Huh? “Get up and come to bed? What are you doing?” Huh? “Wake up and come to bed!” What? “NOW!” Ok.

I was only trying to be considerate. My “kind” gesture made a bad situation worse. My wife wakes to a loud noise (“elephant dying”), it’s 3:00 a.m., her husband is gone. What’s the logical thing to do? Get mad at him!

<Sigh> You just can’t win!