Saturday morning as I was brushing my teeth and getting ready to spit,  I happened to see what looked like was my toothbrush on the counter next to the sink.

“Odd,” I thought. “I’m brushing my teeth so how can my toothbrush be on the counter?”

Pulling the toothbrush out of my mouth, I examine it, dripping toothpaste everywhere.

“Strange,” I think audibly. What I was using used to be my toothbrush but I hadn’t used it in months. How come it was in the cup where I normally put my toothbrush.

At that moment my bride walks in and states: “You AREN’T using THAT toothbrush, are you?!”

I can testify that I got a very bad feeling at that moment. I honestly didn’t want to, but I asked anyway, mouth still full of toothpaste, “Why?”

“I used it to clean the mold out of the creases in the shower door and around the drain last night.”

Two things immediately occurred:
first—gag! Gag! Gag! Gag!
second—I used half a tube of toothpaste brushing my teeth, tongue, cheeks, gums, roof of mouth, throat

Just thinking about it right now makes me gag…

<gag><gag><gag><gag><gag>…