I had a chat with an acquittance late this afternoon. He had received the mailer from Lifepoint advertising the new series starting this weekend on The Real F_Word.

As we talked about the concept of forgiveness, he readily admitted that he didn’t buy into all that “God stuff” and especially not the “forgiveness thing.” I find it so interesting that I’ve had this conversation with several people recently. There’s always someone who they’ve not forgiven, someone important in their lives, someone who was once central to their very existence. Something happened; the relationship was disrupted and now enmity existed.

The withholding of forgiveness always gives the illusion of power, doesn’t it? It allows you to feel “justified” in your actions. Instead, it really is a racket that allows you to manipulate your environment — this is the sense of power that you feel. “I’m the victim, I’ve been done wrong!” The words allow you to force others to respond to you in a predictable way; it compels people to respond negatively to you, thus feeding the sense of being wronged.  You convince yourself that the “ghosts” in your past are so strong that you can never overcome them. This acceptance of the unchangable comes with a tremendous cost — you lose it all.

This is the Evil One’s “gotcha!”

What is amazing is that it honestly doesn’t have to be this way. It’s the promise Jesus gives us; it’s a reality that I have personally experienced. It’s the system that God himself designed.

Forgiveness is a gift you can give to yourself.  It is the way God wired us. It is a release from the burden of anger and pain.  When you choose to forgive, you choose to live in the present and the future instead of the past.  It does not mean that you will forget the wrongdoing, but you can remember it without the emotional pain connected to it. You are allowed to release it  and get on with your life.  Forgiveness does not happen on its own, you must choose to forgive.

Once you do, everything changes. Until you do, you’ll remain a victim. Without help, it will never happen.

Sound intriguing?